Why We Call Our Blog the Miracle of More

The miracle is a beautiful image of Ephesians 3:20--more than I can ask or imagine. Every day is a miracle. Every moment is a miracle. Specifically for our family, the miracle of more is our family growing in ways I would never have imagined when we first committed to adoption 8 years ago. But, the greatest miracle is the change in ME!

If you have questions about adoption, our work in South Africa, or spina bifida, please email me at rbmattox@bellsouth.net

Monday, May 21, 2012

Lessons From the Dark

The last week has included many dark days for me, circumstances not appropriate for our family blog. I have found it difficult to pray, and had trouble distinguishing God's voice.

The week ended, rather appropriately for a dark week, I suppose.

God got my attention!!

Since I will have a new position next year at school, I must clean out my classroom. (All you teachers out there, you know how much "stuff" we have!)

And, all of you GA teachers know about the new CCGPS. Since our system is using our only 2 post planning days for unit writing, we have no post planning days to clean our classrooms. And, with circumstances from our dark week, I have not devoted enough time to cleaning.

All of that said so you understand why I went to the school late last night. I put the children to bed and had hopes of getting much work done for about 2 hours, with NO ONE around, no one to ask questions, no one to distract me.

I have a key to the building and a key to my classroom. I let myself in the building, then entered my classroom. I locked the door to my classroom, so....if any big bad wolves or other monsters entered the building, I could make a swift get-away through the back door.

I had accomplished about 10 minutes worth of work, whittling away at the easy, most obvious tasks first, to make it feel like I had much to show for my time. That's when a quick job stared me in the face. There sat a cup, with the remains of a grape slushy, and inside the cup were 3 house flies having a royal feast. One more easy task so I could accomplish many little things.

I opened my back door to empty the contents of the cup....totally focused on the flies I was also trying to rid my classroom of.

I'm not sure of the details of this part of the story. All I can tell you is the door closed behind me....and there is no way to open our classroom back doors from the outside. My keys were inside. My cell phone was inside. There was NO way in the building. There was NO way for me to call for help. I really had no choice.

I had to walk home.

In.
The.
Dark.

I tried to shorten my dark journey by visiting my sister's house. She lives directly across from the school in my grandmother's house. The walk was a few football fields in the dark. I wasn't too nervous or worried, until I saw her car wasn't home. I knocked and shouted, all the time her dog barked and barked. She knows me, but she wasn't expecting me to appear in the dark, dressed in my church clothes, and knock on the door when my sister wasn't home.

That was it.

I had to walk home.

In.
The.
Dark.

As I began to walk, I said, "Okay, God, you must have a lesson here for me in all of this." I was often distracted still, though, by the dark days of the week behind me.

But, I did notice the stars shining brightly, no clouds, no moon either. But the stars gave just enough light for me to make my way down the dirt road while able to see where I was going. It reminded me that if we will let our light shine, there may not be many others with bright lights shining, but just that little light helps someone who is struggling to see the path.

Then, I took note of the sand. This part of the road remains dirt, like it was when I was a little girl, many, many years ago. The sand is nearly white, and the white sand was reflecting the light from the stars. I never stepped in a rut. I never had to step cautiously. I could always see the path. And, if we as Christians reflect the light of the Son, others may see the path, and keeping their eyes on our reflection, keep out of the ruts.

I thought, too, about how I was walking on a road near my home. I love two SCC songs, "We are Not Home Yet," and, "It's Just a Long Way Home." I was not nearly as fearful because I was near my home. And, the closer I got to my home, the less fear I had. So much so, that, when I entered the first part of the back drive, I just sat down.

I sat down.

In.
The.
Dirt.

In.
My.
Dress.

And, I said, "Jesus, I am close to home. Speak."

As hard as I tried to listen, I only heard, "Be still and know that I am God."

Be. Still.

Know that I am God.

I am God.

Be. Still.

If you are travelling through dark days. Make sure you stay close to home, close to Jesus, close to the Heavenly places where He carries you. Sit down and remember to be still. Know that He is God.

3 comments:

Aus said...

You got your message - it's funny sometimes - the harder we look the harder it is to find...so then our Father comes along and does something (like locking your keys in the room) - to get us to that place where we can see and hear...good to know that the Father is smart.like.that!

We'll keep y'all in our prayers -

hugs - aus and co.

Sandra said...

I have SO been there. Your post made me cry. Praying for you and your sweet family.

God's Grace said...

I'm so glad you posted. I have prayed for you daily... tried to call. But I do know that at times you just need to be still. He never stopped being God. I know. I'm praying for you my sister.

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