Troubled

A young adult who went to school with my older children committed suicide on Friday. She lived just a mile away.

Saturday morning, 8 people were murdered in a town I visit often, just an hour from my house. No clues, no suspects.....

Sunday morning, another child the same age as my older children, found her mother dead in the bed. I graduated from high school with her mother. She lives less than 5 miles from my home.

Monday morning, I learned of the death of a Chinese adoptee. Her mother has been arrested. Every adoptive child is dear to my heart. I prayed for her mother. Many people prayed for her mother.

I am reminded today that we live in a fallen world, where there is so much sin, and so much heart ache.

Does our light shine brightly? Or is it hidden under a bushel?

Remembering....

There are things about Africa I want to make sure I never forget....

The way Adi felt in my arms the first time I held him...

Watching Josie-Tatum beam when she learned we could sponsor Adi for school...

The hospitality we felt the moment we arrived, as young men carried our luggage to our rooms, young women showed us around, and we were served dinner first because we were guests...

How startled I was when an elephant ran in front of our vehicle...

The cold at night...

The warm bed...

Seeing Josie-Tatum step far out of her comfort zone and speak up so she could assist in giving out care packages to the children...

The stars in the night sky, stars I'd never seen before, too many to count, visible without any pollution, clouds, or lights from a city...

Seeing the the countenance change on the face of Shandukani as she grew to be comfortable with the attention at Build the Nations...

The sound of Brad Palmer's South African accent...

The excitement of the people when we visited their church, home, or school...

The Sweet Presence of the Holy Spirit in the Upper Room...

The joy on the face of the children I taught to play a game during Tea Time...

Tea Time....

The picture of Mr. Green, the school administrator as I played Onward Christian Soldiers, and he led the marching around the room...

The sound of music coming from the town each night...

The love of the people serving at Build the Nations and their hugs the day we left...

Seeing people do their laundry in the river...

The simple pleasure of playing the piano while others sang hymns on a Friday night...

Wacthing children clean their own school...

Hearing the voice of the ladies as they sang and watched their dance of thanksgiving when we fed the widows...

The beautiful voices that sang in harmony praises to the KING...

The realization that I had truly heard God speak Isaiah 43:19...

My own excitement at the opportunity to come home and continue serving the orphans as we raise funds for a new home...

The bittersweet moment of holding Shandukani and Adi one last time before we came home...

And the comfort in knowing that God is with me wherever I go, just as He was with Moses and Joshua...

And the LORD saidBehold I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth....

Join me in anticipating the inconceivable...and enjoy the photos of the safari.

Blessings, Birthday, and Belonging

I was abundantly blessed this weekend, blessed to have all five of my children home, blessed to celebrate my Grandma Tatum's 85th birthday, and blessed to belong to an extended family who remember to love one another.

Brandon and Whitney came home on Friday night. It was good to have them home, leaving their things on the table, sleeping late, eating my cooking, and making a lot of noise.

Today we went to Obediah's Okefenokee where we had a small family reunion/birthday dinner for my Grandma Tatum who turned 85 on Wednesday. Can you imagine celebrating 85 birthdays? The photo above includes 4 generations!!! Grandma, my mother, me, and my kids.





All of the children in the photo below are children of my cousins. They would be second cousins, of course. In the picture are only the ones who were nearby when I took the photo. There were quite a few others who had run off to play or had never come out to play.



As I've mentioned here before, the home at Obediah's Okefenokee is special, not just because it's on the National Registry of Historic Places, and not just because it was built in 1870. It is special to me because my grandmother once lived in the house with her parents and siblings. Her father was a tenant farmer, and he tended Mr. Obediah Barber's farm, and lived in the tenant house. While they weren't rich in material things, their home was abundantly blessed with faith and love.




Josie-Tatum and Ellie Pose in the Doorway to Grandma Tatum's Bedroom
I would suppose there aren't many children who can walk in the house where their great-grandmother lived before she got married--Ala the while picturing what it was like over half a century earlier.

Finally......an Ellie Story

Okay, I realize I am still NOT myself. Not only have two of my children moved off to college, but I must remember it is the beginning of a school year. That always wipes me out.

But, here's to hoping I will feel like blogging more, laughing more, praising more.

And...here's a funny Ellie story.

Ellie has started pre-K. She has loved it!!!! She went to school joyfully for 6 days, never hesitant, always ready. Until Monday, that is.

Monday morning, when it was time for Josie-Tatum to walk her to the bus at our school, Ellie said, "I want you to take me." No problem. She has the right to be a typical 4-year-old occasionally and actually WANT her mama.

So, I walk her to the bus. The same Ellie who is usually crusing through the halls of Blackshear Elementary School at warp speed, walks slowly. I must remind her continually to speed up. The bus is waiting. Mama's students are waiting. When we get to the bus, Ellie begins to cry.

"I want to stay with you," she says. I tell her that is not an option. She cries louder. (I promise this gets funny eventually.) I try tickling her, coaxing. Nothing works. So, I get on the bus with her and tell the instructional assistant. "You're just going to have to take her."

Well, Ellie put a lock on my neck. Her hands and arms were clasped strongly behind my neck. Mrs. Marsh had to hold Ellie so my hands were free and I could force her arms apart and away from my neck. My blood pressure had sky rocketed, I was sweating. I left a sobbing Ellie on the school bus. What a way to start a Monday, the Monday after I have spent the weekend crying missing my teenagers.

When I saw Ellie at the end of the day, she was her typical, cheerful self. She didn't mention the morning, and neither did I. Later in the evening I said, "Ellie, Mama really worried about you today. Can you promise me you won't cry tomorrow."

Ellie said, "I won't cry tomorrow. I'm not going to school anymore."

Sweet Encouragement From My Savior

Thank you for your prayers for me. I am finding a peace in soul. Don't get me wrong, if I sit still and think about my children who are not at home anymore, I can begin to feel a deep mourning setting.

But, let me tell you about my JESUS!!

Just after my last post, I hit send and went to check on the girls. Here is what I found.


Before any of you had begun to pray for me, the LORD was answering my cries. I had to laugh.

Later in the evening I visited a few blogs, one of which was Katie's. If you have time, I implore you to click here and read her last two posts. Katie reminded me that Jesus is all I need, that He longs to be the source of my joy, my peace, and my happiness. I think I have sometimes substituted the joy of parenting for the joy of the LORD. I must give my heart fully and completely to JESUS.

I am certain that each of us have, at some time, found ourselves drifting into despair. Take heart. We're in good company. David was greatly distressed...but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God .I can choose to encourage myself as well. I will choose to rest in His word, to speak His promises, to sing His praises. I can encourage myself in the LORD MY God! And, together, we can encourage one another too.

Be blessed today and everyday!
Robbie

My Aching Heart

My heart aches.

My recent absence was not caused by my heartache; however, my heartache and recent absence are related.

Life has been busy, very busy. I returned from South Africa, and returned to work only 5 days later. For all of you educators out there, you know what pre-planning and the first week of school do to a teacher. Just over jet lag and back up everyday at 5:30 a.m.

Josie-Tatum started first grade, and praise the LORD for her teacher Ms. Sheri. She is awesome. Ellie started pre-K, her first adventure is school away from home. She is loving it! She has Mrs. Carter, the same teacher JT had for pre-K. I hope Mrs. Carter is strong enough for Ellie....;) Neither of these have anything to do with my heartache, just the craziness I've experenced.

My heart is aching, though, because Whitney moved to Savannah on Monday, to attend classes at Armstrong. Then, Brandon moved to Athens on Wednesday to attend classes at UGA. Since it was the first week of school, it would have been nearly impossible to take off 2 days of school to help both of them move. My parents helped Whitney move, though, and Caleb helped Brandon move.

Brandon brought Caleb back home on Thursday, and it was really hard telling him good-bye. I pretended to cry, only to make a joke out of the tears that really wanted to flow. Whitney came home yesterday afternoon, but left for Savannah again early this afternoon.

I've really been okay. I've been so busy, so tired at the end of the day, that I fell asleep quickly. Today I went to Wal-Mart, took the girls swimming, and got busy with the housework. Then....

Then I saw Brandon's BAMA hat on the table. I always hated it when he left his hat on the table. Today, I wish he was here to leave it on the table every day.

I turned my head and saw Whitney's booster seat...hahaha. It was Ellie's booster seat that has been in Whitney's car for nearly 2 years. I could always count on Whitney to keep Ellie when she wasn't in class, to take her to college if she was just going for a minute. Another reminder that our life will be different.

Caleb has been moping around too. He and Brandon were a tag-teaming stand-up comic act. So much laughter left the house when Brandon left.

It is just too quiet.

Can you believe I said that when Ellie still lives here???????????? Okay, it's just not as noisy.

I know that millions of mothers have sent their children away to college. I know that there are others who have sent 2 away at one time. But, just for today, I feel miserable. I'm sure it will get better.

Thursday night, the last thing I saw before I turned out the light was the photo of all 5 of my children on Easter, just months after Brandon and Ellie joined our family. I see it every night, but there was an unusual tugging at my heart on Thursday. I know there will be other "little" things that remind me that our life is changing.

I can't even begin to think about Caleb leaving for the Navy.

What a blessing it has been to be the crazy, worn-out, mother of five. I think I hurt more remembering all of the years Brandon didn't have anyone to love on him. There were those who loved him, but not those who loved "on" him, with hugs and kisses, shoulder rubs, and favorite meals.

So, I'm going to the front porch to talk to my Jesus. He is the LIFE-GIVER. He is the Comforter. He is the Prince of Peace.

And, I promise to come back to the bloggy world...for all five or ten of you who read my blog regularly. I promise to tell more funny Ellie stories. I promise to share more about South Africa. I promise to tell you about the work that's beginning for the home for the children. And, I promise to tell you when my house is noisy for those occasional moments when all 5 of my children are home again!

Take a look

here

if you would like to read how God directed our path, and the excitement I have for the next step in our journey!
Robbie