Our four-year-old, however, has some behavior/control issues that can drive a parent crazy at times. I think about how loved he was in his group foster home. While Qing Zhuang may not have had the opportunity to develop strong attachments in a family type setting, Zhuang Zhuang did. I believe he has suffered the most throughout his adoption, felt the most loss, needed to grieve more.
I wonder if that contributes most to his behavior issues. He had no control over who adopted him or when he was adopted or if he was adopted. I am certain he feels loved, and I am certain he is learning to love us. But, what can he possibly be thinking about everything that has changed in his life?
He has almost always refused to smile for photos. (Another control issue, I think.) But, he is beginning to smile when we ask him--especially is we promise candy.
And, tonight, I left the boys in bed for a few minutes to come downstairs and get tomorrow's clothes ready. When I went back upstairs, I climbed in Zhuang Zhuang's bed, and he whispered, "I luva you."
Progress...learning to love and be loved!