Newest Member of the Mattox Family

No! We are not adopting again. Not that I'm opposed to the idea, but Stan says, "We're finished!" And God has not rained any money on us lately, and we now have 7 people living in 3 bedrooms.

So, while Stan and I have both said, "No," over and over again to a dog, we've had a change of heart. One day not long ago, this HUGE dog followed me home from my walk. Did I mention he was HUGE? Well, he was gentle and the girls were fascinated with him, still a little scared, but constantly saying, "Where's Elijah? Can I go see Elijah?" Anyway, Elijah disappeared in 36 hours. But, it got us thinking. The girls are both afraid of dogs. Perhaps owning a gentle dog would help them overcome their fear.

Which leads me to the introduction of Cocoa!






It is so hot here in south Georgia. The humidity would kill a person from Arizona, but the girls keep going outside. They come in dripping with sweat, only to go out again in a few minutes. They can't stay away from her.

Quote for the Day

I took this from the blog of one of my cyber-friends.
Thanks, Brenda.

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the
morning, Satan shudders & says...
'Oh crap...she's awake!!

Blessings,
Robbie

South Georgia Multicultural Festival

So, it really wasn't a south Georgia muliticultural festival, but it was quite an interesting reunion. Our God is full of surprises. Who would have ever dreamed, 12 years ago, when Sabrina and Amy were in my Sunday School class as teenagers, that I would have 2 daughters from China, Amy would have one son from Vietnam, and Sabrina would be waiting on her son from the Phillipines? Not to mention, Amy's husband's mother is from Japan, and Sabrina's husband's grandfather is Filipino/Hawaiian. It's a small world afterall.

The LORD has done great things for us, and we are glad!!! (Psalm 126:3)

Did we have a full house today? Not only were all seven members of our family here off and on throughout the day. Sabrina was here with her Kati and Eli. They are waiting on Levi. Amy was here with Blake, Grace, and Samuel. Samuel joined his forever family in February. Caleb's girl friend came over, as did my sister and her husband. Then the girlfriend's parents stopped in to say, "Hello," when they picked Sara up. It was a wonderful day.

Here are some pictures of the kids at the pool, 1 seven-year old, 3 five-year-olds, 1 four-year-old, and 2 three-year-olds. Got that?

And, to end our day of multicultural activities, when all of the guests were gone, we went swimming in the red neck swimming pool. Well, actually, it was playing in a mud hole. And, in case you wondered, this pool, uh hole, is in our driveway. We should fill it in sometime, but then where would the kids play?

Short Note

Last night, I had sent the girls to their room, and told them I was coming up, for stories and prayers before bed time.

When I walked to their bedroom door, the girls were standing on opposite sides of the door. Josie-Tatum said, "Your majesty," and her copycat Ellie said, "Your majesty." This was followed by many giggles and hugs. What a great way to end the day!

The Essence of Ellie and Josie-Tatum's Stunts

My favorite verse, those of you who know me is, "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory...." Ephesians 3:20
When I had two kids, and never dreamed of adopting, I could not have asked or even thought of my life today. Everyday I enjoy my children more than I could ask or think. While I worry sometimes about Ellie's mobility and other functions, her loving, strong-willed, charming personality is more than I could have imagined when we committed to being her parents. To Him be glory!!!!!!!!


This is Ellie with my nephew Joshua. Joshua plays with my girls at the swimming pool, entertains, accpets commands, and is just an all around good kid. You can see from this picture....and the video below that Ellie LOVES him! Of course, he is Aunt Bobbie's son, and Ellie LOVES her Aunt Bobbie.

Josie-Tatum continues to amaze us with her "stunts." Just 6 weeks ago, she didn't want her face to get wet. She surely didn't go under water intentionally. After mastering her fear, here is one of her favorite tricks.



This video has to be the Essence of Ellie. Nine months ago, she didn't even know English, but we knew she was strong willed. She is THE BOSS. Here sits a child with spina bifida who has NO clue she is disabled. My friend Joli says she is differently abled. I had someone tell me today, "You can't watch her and think she has a disability." She finds a way to do anything she wants to do. She enjoys life with all of her being. (Note it is my nephew Joshua following her commands.)

Cow Appreciation Day

In celebration of Cow Appreciation Day, the entire family of seven, along with one cousin, one girlfriend, and one friend, dressed as cows and went to Chic Filet. While it took us hours to put together ten costumes, complete with masks, make-up, horns, and much laughter, we were rewarded with 10 FREE meals today. We were quite the hit in the restaurant. While Stan was most reluctant to join us, he was pleased when we were not the only people in the restaurant dressed for the occasion. We were the best group while we were there, though we do know one office staff complete with 30 cows all had lunch there today.
The girls had such fun, and the teenagers got into the action, too. It made for lots of laughs, and little money. What better way to spend a day with your kids?
Hope you can find a reason to laugh at yourself today,
Robbie

South Georgia Fun in the Sun

We had such a blessed day today. We were joined by my sister, my nephew, my great-nephew, my friend Joli, and her precious 3 children, also adopted from China. I had as much fun snapping pictures as the kids had playing in the pool. I also enjoyed learning to make this slide show. Hope you enjoy!

One More Blessed Day

Today was one more blessed day in the home of the Mattox Family. My Grandma Tatum and my Aunt Nancy came to have lunch with us, and the whole family was home for lunch. I cooked dinner for 9! My girls so enjoyed spending time with their great-grandmother and great-aunt. I'm not sure who was entertaining whom. And, now those of you who wondered, may know why I call my biggest little girl Josie-Tatum, rather than just Josie.


I don't know who had more fun, Grandma Tatum or Ellie. Ellie had my 84-year-old-next month grandmother in the floor playing Princess Dominoes. Then she was leading grandma by the finger, leaning on her for support, telling her, "My room's upstairs." So, she guided Grandma Tatum upstairs to play in her room. She was most upset when her daddy wouldn't let Grandma carry her to the dining room for lunch, but was quickly made happy when she found out Grandma Tatum would be seated next to her in the dining room.


Josie-Tatum has been looking forward to today's lunch! She said, "Yeah, I can play with Aunt Nancy." (Ellie calls her auntsie) I remember as a little girl when I liked playing with Aunt Nancy. She taught us silly songs. We went swimming in the cow pond, after picking vegetables, of course.
Now, Josie-Tatum enjoys reading to her great-Aunt Nancy. Aunt Nancy was duly impressed with Josie-Tatum's reading skills when she is only starting kindergarten this fall.


One more picture of Grandma Tatum and the girls!

June And More

We've been busy this summer--PLAYING!
Our computer had some serious issues, so I haven't been posting, but now I have a new computer.

We went to Palm Coast for vacation and had a wonderful time. We stayed at Ocean Hammock and if you want to know who we rented from, I'll let you know. There was a kiddie splash play ground for the baby girls, family pool, adult only pool, the beach, of course, fitness room, and balconies with beautiful views.

Josie-Tatum learned to swim while we were on vacation. Big Step! When we left home, she didn't want water splashed in her face. She can swim on top of the water, and under the water. When we got home, she started jumping off the diving board at Grandma's house.

Enjoy the pictures!
Robbie







Josie-Tatum not only learned to swim while we were on vacation. She spent the month of June getting over her fear of getting her face wet. She got brave enough to jump in the pool, has been learning to dive, AND here is her cannon ball!


And my oldest "baby" turned 20 years old last week!

Blessings

This weekend I found lots of blessings and joy with my children. The girls had quite the good time picking wildflowers and taking pictures. And, to think, when we first came home, she wouldn't walk on grass. Yesterday, she was lying in it. Ellie always looks like she's up to something. I wonder what she is thinking.

On Saturday, I helped the girls pot some flowers. Josie-Tatum took the work very seriously. Ellie, on the other hand, had the most fun digging in the potting soil.

And, Saturday afternoon, my cousin had a cookout for her son who is graduating this year. I was NOT ready for swimming, but it was not quite possible to tell the girls, "No," when others were in the pool. It may have be 92 degrees outside, but that water was COLD. Ellie had a wonderful "first time" in a swimming pool. She held on tightly the first few minutes, but was soon ready to be Miss Independent with her swimmies and swim ring. Josie-Tatum was ever the protective big sister, making sure Ellie felt safe and secure.

A Blessed Mother's Day Weekend

I will try to post pictures this week, but I wanted to share my blessed weekend, before I forget the details.

On Saturday night, Josie-Tatum said, "Mama, I can't wait until tomorrow." I asked why, and she said, "Because it's Mother's Day," and then she gave me a big hug. Then, she asked, "Did you really only have 3 children last year." I said, "Yes," and she said, "It's just like a miracle. Now you have 5!"

Yes, it is just like a miracle. I sat in church yesterday surrounded, literally, by my 5 beautiful, loving children. God is so good! After church, they raced me home to "set up." I came in the house to 3 gifts on the couch and a huge....um....HUGE....card. The gifts were nice, a new beach bag, a water bottle bag, and a photo album filled with pictures from the past 7 months, as a family of 7. But my favorite part, after reading my card, all 5 children JUMPED on me in one big group hug. This was, of course, followed by MUCH laughter.

We went swimming for the first time this year...planted flowers....and just had plain old-fashioned fun over the weekend. Pictures in a few days!!!

Healthy Tears

Six months ago, I had to play "near" Ellie without playing with her. I had to let others do things for her that I desperatey wanted to do. She was only with Mama in this picture, because Bobbie Ayi took her out of the hotel room, and snuck away once we were playing.

But, Ellie has begun a new behavior in the past few weeks.

She cries and cries hard when I leave for work.

When I first went back to work, after being home less than 2 weeks, I could tell her good-bye while she sat on the couch drinking milk, and she would cheerfully say, "Bye Mama." As the weeks have turned to months, I've had to be a little more creative to keep her cheerful.

But, now, no matter the effort, there are tears for every departure. And, the good thing is, I know these are healthy tears. I know it means she is really attaching and bonding to her mother. I know it means she feels safe, secure, and loved by her mama, who would do anything to make sure she continues to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Isn't it interesting? Five months ago, it tugged at my heart to watch her so comfortable when I was leaving her. I felt guilty that somehow I wasn't loving on her enough in the mornings. And, now, it tugs on my heart when I hear her cry, but the tug is peaceful. For, I know we have made PROGRESS!!!

And, once again, to hear her say, "This is MY mama!" "This is MY daddy!" " This is MY sister."
This is MY Caleb." "This is MY Brandon." Praise the LORD for the lessons she is learning about belonging to a family. Praise the LORD for the ayis in her foster home, who prepared her for her family. Praise the LORD, for HE has done great things!!!!

More Happenings This Week and PROM

Everyday with Ellie, I feel more and more blessed to be her mother. She enjoys life, and I learn to enjoy it more with her. She loves to be outside, to flip and spin, which is hard with a walker, but you'd never know it watching her.

On our way to visit with the SW this week, we stopped at a rest stop for a planned visit with friends. The picture above is Ellie blowing bubbles with grace.

And, the handsome fellow below is Samuel! Isn't he precious. He's from Vietnam, and has just been with his family for 2 months. It was great to finally get to meet him.

When we were at Chic Filet, Ellie had the playground to herself. She was happy to play "model" and let me take lots of pictures.
Oops! Turn your head.

And, here is my handsome Brandon. Tonight is prom. Isn't he dashing? Of course, his date is beautiful, too.

God is Good!

My Beloved Family!

We had our six months post placement visit. This is the family photo we made. I am reminded of my blessings. Ellie was such a "hoot" while we visited with our SW. She walked around Chic Filet with her walker, saying hello to people who spoke to her, stopping to tell me things. Every lovable part of her personality was shining!

Other April Happenings

A home my grandmother once lived in is a preserved historic site. Her parents were tenant farmers. We recently held a family reunion there, and I took the girls' picture on the front porch of the home. If you 're ever in south Georgia, visit Obediah's Okefenokee, and you'll walk in the house where my grandmother lived, and my grandfather proposed to her on the same porch where my girls are standing.

I couldn't get both of the girls smiling at the same time, so here are 2 cropped pictures.

Last summer, when Josie-Tatum and I were picking blackberries along the side of the road, we talked about Ellie. We talked about how she would be with us the next blackberry season. We made jam. I see now the blackberry bushes in bloom again, preparing to produce fruit. Last summer, I made jam, thinking of Ellie. Now, she's eating the jam with her cream cheese and bagle. I think she enjoyed it. What do you think?

Ellie enjoys hiding her eyes, turning her head, and other pranks when I try to take her picture. This is a cropped shot. There were others in thr group. Ellie had taken the hair piece and framed her face. You can see by the smile she was proud of herself. She is so full of personality.

While we had already celebrated the boys' birthdays at Longhorns' Steakhouse and a day at the beach, we had another celebration on Caleb's "real" birthday. He wanted his grandparents, Aunt Bobbie and cousin Joshua to join him on his birthday. Here is a picture of him with his baby sisters.
And, the same Aunt Bobbie who traveled all the way to China with us, who was a saint and stayed in her room so I could try to foster attachment with Ellie, who entertained Josie-Tatum when I was napping with Ellie, the same sister who wrote in the sand a message for me last summer that said, "Good morning my sister. I love you!" when we were waiting for Ellie and I was so discouraged.....
This same sister gave Caleb and Brandon special gifts for their birthdays.....a treat bag filled with sardines, vienna sausage, candy bugs, and candy eyeballs. Gotta love the picture! (There was cash in the bottom of the bag.)

A more attractive picture of Caleb and his girlfriend........

Thoughts on Bonding and Attachment--Six Months Later

I never knew how much rejection I could feel from a 2 year old. I had the knowledge I needed to prepare myself. I thought I was prepared.

I have learned that your heart can hurt terribly even when your head knows better.

I have learned that a 2 year old can unintentionally hurt the feelings of a 43 year old.

I have learned how hard it was for Stan, when we adopted Josie-Tatum, and she attached to me exclusively.

I have learned that it is easy to get "caught up" in a medical condition and lose sight of the child.

I have learned that some miracles take time.

I talked with a friend after we'd been home just a few months. She, too had adopted a 2 year old. We discussed the differences in our most recent adoptions from our first adoptions. Perhaps it takes longer for parent and child to bond, when the child doesn't need the parent so much. Josie-Tatum couldn't yet walk, wasn't yet talking, still took a bottle. She needed me for her basic needs, and she knew it.

Ellie couldn't yet walk, but she had learned how to be independent in spite of that. She could feed herself, and she could talk, even though we had no idea what she was saying. She was independent enough to think she didn't need me, though I knew she did. While her independence will help her overcome many obstacles in life, it hindered our bonding process.

I was sometimes surprised at the great effort I had to put into loving on her when she pushed me away. Amazingly, the adult human spirit is NOT drawn to love on a child when that child is not returning the love. That does not mean I did not love her. It was just hard sometimes to be affectionate.

I want other adoptive parents to know that attachment and bonding can be a struggle.

But, I also want them to know it will happen.

We've been a Forever Family 6 months today! I am amazed at how much Ellie has changed, how much I have changed. I am overjoyed to see her when I get home from work. (The feeling is mutual.) Yesterday, Ellie said, "Will you play with me, Mama?" I'm sure you know my answer.
Yesterday, it felt so good, just to have her sit in my lap. Yesterday, she felt like my little girl sitting in my lap. Six months ago, while I was so glad to be holding her, it felt like holding a friend's child.

Ellie loves hugs and kisses, and gives them more freely than most children. She loves her mama more than I thought she might. She even wants my help at mealtimes now, even when she doesn't need me. Sometimes, I think she is reverting to some immature behaviors, but I also think that is good. It allows me to do for her what I could have done for her when she was younger.

I am growing to enjoy bed time more and more each day. At bedtime, Ellie, Josie-Tatum, and read stories together. Somehow a little play time comes in. It's followed by prayers, hugs, and kisses. It is such a blessing when Ellie keeps pulling me back to her to get one more hug. She is really learning what it is like to be part of a family.

I love to hear her tell others, "Thisa MY mama." "Thisa MY daddy." "Thisa MY sister."
My daddy loves to hear her say, "This MY yeye. MY grandpa." She is learning that she has a family that is HERS. She is learning what it is like to truly belong.

And, as that happens, the meltdowns are fewer, the power struggles are fewer. I can ask her to do something, and, when she obeys say, "Thank you." She readily says, "You're welcome." She has a desire to please her parents that is sometimes stronger than her desire/need to have control.

And, I am so glad, God, in His infinite wisdom, made Ellie a part of our family. I cannot imagine going home today and finding her not there. I can't imagine Josie-Tatum without Ellie to play with. I can't imagine not hearing her shout "Let's go Brandon!" at soccer games. I cannot imagine not hearing her say, "I love you." I can't imagine my home without her giggles. They are contagious. She is loud, and she is loving, and she is AMAZING.

Thank you, Jesus, for 6 months! I look foward to the rest of our lives!