Blessings

This weekend I found lots of blessings and joy with my children. The girls had quite the good time picking wildflowers and taking pictures. And, to think, when we first came home, she wouldn't walk on grass. Yesterday, she was lying in it. Ellie always looks like she's up to something. I wonder what she is thinking.

On Saturday, I helped the girls pot some flowers. Josie-Tatum took the work very seriously. Ellie, on the other hand, had the most fun digging in the potting soil.

And, Saturday afternoon, my cousin had a cookout for her son who is graduating this year. I was NOT ready for swimming, but it was not quite possible to tell the girls, "No," when others were in the pool. It may have be 92 degrees outside, but that water was COLD. Ellie had a wonderful "first time" in a swimming pool. She held on tightly the first few minutes, but was soon ready to be Miss Independent with her swimmies and swim ring. Josie-Tatum was ever the protective big sister, making sure Ellie felt safe and secure.

A Blessed Mother's Day Weekend

I will try to post pictures this week, but I wanted to share my blessed weekend, before I forget the details.

On Saturday night, Josie-Tatum said, "Mama, I can't wait until tomorrow." I asked why, and she said, "Because it's Mother's Day," and then she gave me a big hug. Then, she asked, "Did you really only have 3 children last year." I said, "Yes," and she said, "It's just like a miracle. Now you have 5!"

Yes, it is just like a miracle. I sat in church yesterday surrounded, literally, by my 5 beautiful, loving children. God is so good! After church, they raced me home to "set up." I came in the house to 3 gifts on the couch and a huge....um....HUGE....card. The gifts were nice, a new beach bag, a water bottle bag, and a photo album filled with pictures from the past 7 months, as a family of 7. But my favorite part, after reading my card, all 5 children JUMPED on me in one big group hug. This was, of course, followed by MUCH laughter.

We went swimming for the first time this year...planted flowers....and just had plain old-fashioned fun over the weekend. Pictures in a few days!!!

Healthy Tears

Six months ago, I had to play "near" Ellie without playing with her. I had to let others do things for her that I desperatey wanted to do. She was only with Mama in this picture, because Bobbie Ayi took her out of the hotel room, and snuck away once we were playing.

But, Ellie has begun a new behavior in the past few weeks.

She cries and cries hard when I leave for work.

When I first went back to work, after being home less than 2 weeks, I could tell her good-bye while she sat on the couch drinking milk, and she would cheerfully say, "Bye Mama." As the weeks have turned to months, I've had to be a little more creative to keep her cheerful.

But, now, no matter the effort, there are tears for every departure. And, the good thing is, I know these are healthy tears. I know it means she is really attaching and bonding to her mother. I know it means she feels safe, secure, and loved by her mama, who would do anything to make sure she continues to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Isn't it interesting? Five months ago, it tugged at my heart to watch her so comfortable when I was leaving her. I felt guilty that somehow I wasn't loving on her enough in the mornings. And, now, it tugs on my heart when I hear her cry, but the tug is peaceful. For, I know we have made PROGRESS!!!

And, once again, to hear her say, "This is MY mama!" "This is MY daddy!" " This is MY sister."
This is MY Caleb." "This is MY Brandon." Praise the LORD for the lessons she is learning about belonging to a family. Praise the LORD for the ayis in her foster home, who prepared her for her family. Praise the LORD, for HE has done great things!!!!

More Happenings This Week and PROM

Everyday with Ellie, I feel more and more blessed to be her mother. She enjoys life, and I learn to enjoy it more with her. She loves to be outside, to flip and spin, which is hard with a walker, but you'd never know it watching her.

On our way to visit with the SW this week, we stopped at a rest stop for a planned visit with friends. The picture above is Ellie blowing bubbles with grace.

And, the handsome fellow below is Samuel! Isn't he precious. He's from Vietnam, and has just been with his family for 2 months. It was great to finally get to meet him.

When we were at Chic Filet, Ellie had the playground to herself. She was happy to play "model" and let me take lots of pictures.
Oops! Turn your head.

And, here is my handsome Brandon. Tonight is prom. Isn't he dashing? Of course, his date is beautiful, too.

God is Good!

My Beloved Family!

We had our six months post placement visit. This is the family photo we made. I am reminded of my blessings. Ellie was such a "hoot" while we visited with our SW. She walked around Chic Filet with her walker, saying hello to people who spoke to her, stopping to tell me things. Every lovable part of her personality was shining!

Other April Happenings

A home my grandmother once lived in is a preserved historic site. Her parents were tenant farmers. We recently held a family reunion there, and I took the girls' picture on the front porch of the home. If you 're ever in south Georgia, visit Obediah's Okefenokee, and you'll walk in the house where my grandmother lived, and my grandfather proposed to her on the same porch where my girls are standing.

I couldn't get both of the girls smiling at the same time, so here are 2 cropped pictures.

Last summer, when Josie-Tatum and I were picking blackberries along the side of the road, we talked about Ellie. We talked about how she would be with us the next blackberry season. We made jam. I see now the blackberry bushes in bloom again, preparing to produce fruit. Last summer, I made jam, thinking of Ellie. Now, she's eating the jam with her cream cheese and bagle. I think she enjoyed it. What do you think?

Ellie enjoys hiding her eyes, turning her head, and other pranks when I try to take her picture. This is a cropped shot. There were others in thr group. Ellie had taken the hair piece and framed her face. You can see by the smile she was proud of herself. She is so full of personality.

While we had already celebrated the boys' birthdays at Longhorns' Steakhouse and a day at the beach, we had another celebration on Caleb's "real" birthday. He wanted his grandparents, Aunt Bobbie and cousin Joshua to join him on his birthday. Here is a picture of him with his baby sisters.
And, the same Aunt Bobbie who traveled all the way to China with us, who was a saint and stayed in her room so I could try to foster attachment with Ellie, who entertained Josie-Tatum when I was napping with Ellie, the same sister who wrote in the sand a message for me last summer that said, "Good morning my sister. I love you!" when we were waiting for Ellie and I was so discouraged.....
This same sister gave Caleb and Brandon special gifts for their birthdays.....a treat bag filled with sardines, vienna sausage, candy bugs, and candy eyeballs. Gotta love the picture! (There was cash in the bottom of the bag.)

A more attractive picture of Caleb and his girlfriend........

Thoughts on Bonding and Attachment--Six Months Later

I never knew how much rejection I could feel from a 2 year old. I had the knowledge I needed to prepare myself. I thought I was prepared.

I have learned that your heart can hurt terribly even when your head knows better.

I have learned that a 2 year old can unintentionally hurt the feelings of a 43 year old.

I have learned how hard it was for Stan, when we adopted Josie-Tatum, and she attached to me exclusively.

I have learned that it is easy to get "caught up" in a medical condition and lose sight of the child.

I have learned that some miracles take time.

I talked with a friend after we'd been home just a few months. She, too had adopted a 2 year old. We discussed the differences in our most recent adoptions from our first adoptions. Perhaps it takes longer for parent and child to bond, when the child doesn't need the parent so much. Josie-Tatum couldn't yet walk, wasn't yet talking, still took a bottle. She needed me for her basic needs, and she knew it.

Ellie couldn't yet walk, but she had learned how to be independent in spite of that. She could feed herself, and she could talk, even though we had no idea what she was saying. She was independent enough to think she didn't need me, though I knew she did. While her independence will help her overcome many obstacles in life, it hindered our bonding process.

I was sometimes surprised at the great effort I had to put into loving on her when she pushed me away. Amazingly, the adult human spirit is NOT drawn to love on a child when that child is not returning the love. That does not mean I did not love her. It was just hard sometimes to be affectionate.

I want other adoptive parents to know that attachment and bonding can be a struggle.

But, I also want them to know it will happen.

We've been a Forever Family 6 months today! I am amazed at how much Ellie has changed, how much I have changed. I am overjoyed to see her when I get home from work. (The feeling is mutual.) Yesterday, Ellie said, "Will you play with me, Mama?" I'm sure you know my answer.
Yesterday, it felt so good, just to have her sit in my lap. Yesterday, she felt like my little girl sitting in my lap. Six months ago, while I was so glad to be holding her, it felt like holding a friend's child.

Ellie loves hugs and kisses, and gives them more freely than most children. She loves her mama more than I thought she might. She even wants my help at mealtimes now, even when she doesn't need me. Sometimes, I think she is reverting to some immature behaviors, but I also think that is good. It allows me to do for her what I could have done for her when she was younger.

I am growing to enjoy bed time more and more each day. At bedtime, Ellie, Josie-Tatum, and read stories together. Somehow a little play time comes in. It's followed by prayers, hugs, and kisses. It is such a blessing when Ellie keeps pulling me back to her to get one more hug. She is really learning what it is like to be part of a family.

I love to hear her tell others, "Thisa MY mama." "Thisa MY daddy." "Thisa MY sister."
My daddy loves to hear her say, "This MY yeye. MY grandpa." She is learning that she has a family that is HERS. She is learning what it is like to truly belong.

And, as that happens, the meltdowns are fewer, the power struggles are fewer. I can ask her to do something, and, when she obeys say, "Thank you." She readily says, "You're welcome." She has a desire to please her parents that is sometimes stronger than her desire/need to have control.

And, I am so glad, God, in His infinite wisdom, made Ellie a part of our family. I cannot imagine going home today and finding her not there. I can't imagine Josie-Tatum without Ellie to play with. I can't imagine not hearing her shout "Let's go Brandon!" at soccer games. I cannot imagine not hearing her say, "I love you." I can't imagine my home without her giggles. They are contagious. She is loud, and she is loving, and she is AMAZING.

Thank you, Jesus, for 6 months! I look foward to the rest of our lives!

March Blessings

March has been a busy month. The boys playing tennis and soccer, Easter, Easter egg hunts, Brandon's birthday, and a visit to Shriner's! Many pictures are in this post.

I must praise the LORD for our visit to Shriner's. I've been so uneasy about Ellie's orthopedic care, but the staff at Shriner's was so thorough. We came home with a new walker that improves Ellie's posture and will help to strenghten her leg muscles. She was "fitted" for new AFO's that will give her more support. We're planning to have her hip surgery this summer, after vacations and swim time at Grandma's.

Ellie also came home with countless stickers, 2 necklaces, a bubble toy, a Dora toy, and TWO porcelain dolls. She charmed everyone she met. My daddy and I drove 5 hours to Tampa, Florida, and Ellie entertained herself and us the entire way there. She kept her good humor through the many visits from the Shriner's staff, and she entertained again the 5 hours home. The day was so blessed.

I was thoroughly encouraged, when a nurse was taking a urine sample, and Ellie felt the cath! Praise the LORD! Her knee jerked twice! I don't know exactly what that means, but she didn't seem to feel it all when we were at Nemour's. I can't describe my joy.

And, on the way home, I felt God smile again when WHitney called so Josie-Tatum could talk to me. Josie-Tatum asked, "Did you get good news from the doctor today?" like such a little grown up. Then, she asked to talk to Ellie. When Ellie had the phone, she got excited and shouted, "Mama, thisa MY sister." It was as if I heard God say, "These two were meant to be sisters. This was all my plan." And, as I pondered our day, Ellie brought smiles to so many faces. People can't help but smile when she is smiling and singing walking around with her walker. She brings such joy to so many. Thank you, Jesus!

Brandon and his girl friend, Hannah, on his birthday.

Okay, so I tried to get Brandon blowing out his candles, but you know how digital cameras work. It was little late, but, hey, you see the smoke!

Here's my girls coloring at the church EAster party.

Somehow, I missed taking pictures of full Easter egg baskets and Easter bunnies, but I did take pictures out our church's Easter egg hunt. This is Ellie when the "surprise" guest showed up. It was not the Easter bunny, but Jesus. Well, actually, it was Mr. Rick Allmon, a member our church, who arrived to tell the Easter story. Ellie was mesmerized.

I have to post this picture. Josie-Tatum was trying to help me get Ellie to smile. Have you determined she was behind me making faces that included her hands as bunny rabbit ears behind me head. Well, we got Ellie to smile, with bunny ears, too!

Josie-Tatum is always ready to smile!

My Five Blessings this Easter! Can you believe I got them all smiling AND looking at the camera after only the second try. I decided to quite while I was ahead.

The Birthday Boys and Their Girlfriends

Today was an absolutely beautiful day. Well, it was a little cold for beach going, but we had already made these plans. Ellie was far to busy to let me put her jacket on. The boys' birthdays are just 3 weeks apart, so we chose this day between their birthdays to celebrate the whole day. We took them, the girls, and their girl friends out to eat. (See the picture above.) Then, we spent a couple of hours at the beach.

Ellie loves dirt. She will stop anytime she sees dirt to dig a little, and today she found heaven! She was so excited to see water everywhere first. Then she noticed SAND! SAND! and more SAND! She couldn't let us set up, because she stopped at the first bit of sand and started digging. I couldn't get her to look at the camera. She had sand everywhere, and she was so happy! Much unlike Josie-Tatum, who, the first time we took her to the beach, wouldn't let us put her down.

And, finally, with all of the teenagers yelling behing me, I got her to look away from her "work" and smile at her mama.

Ellie's Latest

As she masters the English language, she has learned the phrase, "What's so funny, chocolate bunny?"

Only her version is, "What's so happy, chocolate bunny?"

Ellie Update

Thank you all for your prayers! Ellie was such a trooper yesterday, endured 2 tests with catheters, an ultrasound, 2 more x-rays, 2 doctor's visits, and a visit with orthotics. She charmed everyone!
We had "wierd" news, good news, bad news, iffy news....
First, we learned that she has only 1 kidney! Big News Flash!The good news is....her only kidney looks good.
The bad news is that her bladder is only holding about an ounce of liquid before she urinates. It seemed, too, that she didn't "feel" the cather being inserted, so her sensation is not good.
The iffy news...is that during the summer we will start medication to calm down her bladder so it does not continue to overwork. It is possible after retraining her bladder that she could potty train. Possible.....still gives mes hope. It will be some time before the doctor can help me make that decision.
Again, thank you for your prayers....I felt the sweet peace of Jesus throughout the day.
Blessings,
Robbie

Busy, Busy, February

I hope you enjoy this picture of Ellie and her future husband. :)

The month of February has included Ellie's birthday party, Josie-Tatum's Gotcha Day, the girls ahd the flu, Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, 2 friends' birthday parties, and don't forget Caleb and Brandon are playing tennis and soccer. Oh my! No wonder I'm tired.

Before I share pictures, please let me ask for prayers: Ellie will have extensive tests on Wednesday, February 27th. She will have several diagnostic procedures followed by an appointment with the urologist. Children with spina bifida often have urological problems. We will learn many things on Tuesday, if she is incontinent, if we will need to catheter one or more times a day. This is weighing heavy on my heart. We knew these were possibilities when we committed to Ellie. We know God is walking with us. We ask for perfect healing, but, if God chooses another path, we pray his added grace and strenght for Ellie and for us as we teach her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, in the image of Almighty God.

Happenings:

The day after Ellie's birthday was Josie-Tatum's 4th Gotcha Day! It is so hard to believe we've been home 4 years! Check out that picture in the side bar of our first sight of her. Her smile brightens my day. She is a joy, and so compassionate, loving to her baby sister...well, most of the time. I took her with me to one of Ellie's appts in Jacksonville, so I could spend more time with her. When we got home, the family went out to eat Chinese food. That was Josie-Tatum's choice. We gave her a ring that says "Princess" because she is indeed our little princess.

Both of the girls had the flu, Ellie first, then Josie-Tatum. I stayed home from work one day, the other days they stayed with Grandma. (Praise the LORD for Grandma.) When Josie-Tatum's fever broke some, (she had been so sick), we made Chinese lanterns. It was the week of Chinese New Year. The girls had a good time, and I admit I did, too.

All of the lanterns decorated the dining room table, and some hung from the chandelier. And, yes, the girls ARE standing on the table. Do they look sick with the flu? Yes, Josie-Tatum's temperature was well over 100.

Does God answer the prayers of a faith-filled 5 year old?
Josie-Tatum and Ellie had the flu, and Josie-Tatum's fever was never under 100.4, even with medication all day on Friday. She wanted so desperately to attend a Chinese New Year celebration in Jacksonville ,Florida on Saturday. The doctor said, "No Chinese New Year celebration unless the fever is under 100." Well, Josie-Tatum asked me that night, "Who can we ask to pray for me, so I can go to Chinese New Year?" We called Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Bobbie. Then she said, "Mama, you keep praying until you fall asleep asking Jesus to take away my fever."
When she woke up Saturday morning, she walked into my bedroom and said, "When can you take my temperature?" And, it was 97.7! Here we are celebrating!

Josie-Tatum asked for a fan in China. We bought one and haven't seen it since. I know it was in our hotel room at the White Swan, but...and could you help me pray I find our DVD's of our China trip??? Please....I can't find them anywhere.

But, here is JT with the fan we bought from a vendor at CNY.

What Ellie thinks of Chinese drums. Note the fingers in the ears.

So, maybe, if I hide behind the back of this chair, I can be brave enough to peak at the Lion Dance with that loud drum banging in the background.

Josie-Tatum and Ellie's buddies went with us to Jacksonville to celebrate Chinese New Year. It's become a family tradition for our families to celebrate together. As a matter of fact, the first year we went, we left the next day for China to bring Josie-Tatum home. All of the others have followed in the last 4 years. Aren't those beautiful kids? (Please note the future husband in green.)

And, lastly we enjoyed the birthday party of a friend this weekend, another beautiful "winter" day in south Georgia. (The weather will be much colder the middle of this week.) God has blessed us in our little town with several friends who have also adopted from China. This birthday just happened to be at the home of Ellie's future husband, also adopted this year, and only 2 1/2 months older than Ellie. His brother turned 4!

Josie-Tatum enjoying the birthday party of Ellie's future brother-in-law. She is such a gymnast and was quite proud of the tricks she could do on the bar.

More Soccer Pics

The girls are better! We didn't make it to the soccer game, but we did make it to a CHinese New Year celebration in Jacksonville. Praise the LORD! Here are pictures taken by a friend. I"ll post pictures from CNY later. Today is a dentist appt in the afternoon, followed by baths, supper, and then a soccer game where the girls will wear their PJ's under their warm up suits. Oh, the things a Mom will do.

Judges, Doctors, Bombs, and the Flu

What a day!

First, Ellie woke up with a high fever, took her to the doctor, it's the flu.

The doctor's appt was previously scheduled. I had plans to talk with Ellie's primary care physician about the mixed messages I had received from her pediatric orthopedist. We made plans for a change. We now plan to take Ellie to Shriner's Hospital in Tampa, Fl. We hope to develop a more specific plan for repairing her hip. Please keep praying.

Then, Brandon called. He was in Savannah, 2 hours away from home. They were supposed to be playing soccer. There was a bomb threat. I made him promise to call back soon. He did, and the game had resumed.

Then I had a phone call from the Clerk of Court. We have turned in documents for the domestication of Ellie's and Josie-Tatum's adoptions. (This would be like readopting them here in the US. The primary purpose is to have US records of their adoption and obtain a GA birth certificate.) Anyway, long story short, there was a failure to communciate, error somewhere. Our date for court is March 6, but the judge's secretary had today's date. According to them, we were to show up in court today, we didn't, so the case was dismissed. Now what???? The clerk of court said call the judge's office tomorrow.

So, after all of that, I'm going to try to get some sleep!

Soccer and Stuff

Check out my blonde-headed son! What an awesome photo taken by a friend. The weather was beautiful for the starting game of the season. I told Brandon that when Caleb took up tennis 5 years ago, I bought the book Tennis for Dummies, so I would know what was going on. Now that we've added Brandon to our family, I'll have to buy The Complete Idiot's Guide to Soccer. :)
Okay, I don't think this second action shot is a play that will go in the record books, but, as you can see, Brandon takes his soccer seriously.

THE GIRLS

Sometimes the girls are so sweet! We had such a busy week last week. Monday, many errands after school, Tuesday was Josie-Tatum's Gotcha Day, which I'd like to reflect more on, maybe later. Tuesday we drove to Jacksonville for a dr's appt for Ellie, then back home and out to eat to celebrate Gotcha. Wednesday was church. Thursday was a birthday party in the evening.

I was so tired on Thursday at the party, but Josie-Tatum blessed me more than she will ever know. She spent much of her time with her sister at the party. She played with her friends, but she kept coming back to Ellie. She helped her climb, slide, and bounce. She was protective if somebody bumped into her sister or pushed past her. It was a precious sight that brought tears to the eyes of a tired Mama.

On Saturday, we sat on blankets as we watched Brandon's 3 scrimmage soccer games. The girls enjoyed the sunshine, rolling around each other on the blanket. They sang Chinese songs from Mei Mei videos and became quite the entertainment for our neighbors. Unknown to me, the same friend photographing the boys playing the game had begun to photograph the girls. When Josie-Tatum realized what was going on, she started posing and setting up the poses

Please continue to pray for us and Ellie was we visit doctors and sort through all the medical information. We need wisdom from above for proceeding with her orthapedic care.