Why We Call Our Blog the Miracle of More

The miracle is a beautiful image of Ephesians 3:20--more than I can ask or imagine. Every day is a miracle. Every moment is a miracle. Specifically for our family, the miracle of more is our family growing in ways I would never have imagined when we first committed to adoption 8 years ago. But, the greatest miracle is the change in ME!

If you have questions about adoption, our work in South Africa, or spina bifida, please email me at rbmattox@bellsouth.net

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Warning: Raw Emotion

I'm going to write all of this down, so perhaps I can get it all out. I probably won't edit or spell check.

I've prayed many times for our troops, and many times for their families, but I NEVER had a clue how badly a mom or wife might hurt when the one they have loved for so long says, "Good-by."

I don't have words to truly describe why I can't stop crying, tears continually streaming, sometimes sobbing, sometimes quiet tears.

I was at peace, for the most part, until the last few minutes at the airport. That's when there were lots of tears. I was able to get all of that under control until....

Until we drove up at our home.

There was Caleb's motorcycle.

There was the burnt wood from the fire he and his friends built on Saturday.

There was the STUPID garbage can he has taken to the road every Wed. for years.

There was the reminder that tomorrow is gymnastics, and he often would pick Josie-Tatum up from the gym for me.

There was the couch where I found him more mornings that I found him in bed.

Then, I was ready to check the weather to lay out the girls' clothes for school tomorrow, and I didn't have to ask him if he was on the computer.

And, I pulled the cord away from his X-Box, only to think I won't be pulling the cord back to the computer for a long time.

There was the upstairs bathroom where I went to get tissue for my ever-running nose, and now the bathroom will hardly be used.

And, I know there will be so many more reminders before it gets easier, and I just want to crawl in bed for DAYS.....but, of course, I have two beautiful children in the bathtub right now, waiting for me to get them out, and get them ready for church.

So, I'm going now, begging you to pray that, when I hear from Caleb tonight, I hear some strength returning to his voice, pray that his mom will regain her focus on Jesus, pray for Casie who cried more than I did in Jacksonville today, and, if you have another friend, whose child is in the military, pray for them, and give them a call, or send them and email, and let them know you did.

10 comments:

allisyn said...

i'm praying for God's peace to overshadow you :)

Kim K. said...

Prayers (and tears) flowing from West MI. You and Karin from Our Treasures from Afar (http://jacobsjourneyhome.blogspot.com/) really need to talk to each other. Your stories are so similar.

Extra hugs!!!

Sean and Lisa said...

Raw emotion is allowed especially in this case. I have no words but will certainly be praying for your boy and your family. May God be your balm and may Caleb be surrounded by legions of guardian angels as he protects and serves our country. Thank you for raising up a boy to become such a man!
Many prayers sent your way.

Marla said...

Tears are rolling down my face right now. I was married to a Marine so I know. Your heart is so proud, but it hurts more than you thought possible. Praying for you, Caleb and Casie right now. (((((HUGS)))))

Amy said...

Just know you guys are in our prayers. I loved what Bobbie wrote.
Amy

Sabrina said...

Friend,
I have prayed so much. I have cried, too. My heart breaks for you and Mr. Stan; it breaks for Brandon and Whitney; it breaks for the little girls; and it breaks for Casey and Caleb. I have checked in ALL day to see if you had anything to say....wondering how everyone was, begging God to help you all with this good-bye. The truth is He is in your midst, and He sees your tears, and he will mend your broken heart. The song "Through the Fire" has been running through my mind since sometime late last week. He never promised that it would be easy, but He DID promise that He would be with you. I love you, my sister, and all of the family (including Casey in that), and I will continue to pray for you ALL!

KTLgirl said...

Prayers coming from Mississippi too! What an amazing and horrible experience all at the same time. What a courageous son, mom, family! Love to you all.
Kristen

Karin said...

Oh sweet friend...I am so sorry. I am only a few weeks ahead of you in this but I have such a knot in my stomach for what you are going through today. Praying for you sweet friend...and yes, we need the prayers of other so very desperately.

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

Oh...I can't even imagine. I'm in tears just reading your sweet words for your son. There should be no such thing as war...then there would be no need for a military...filled with sons and daughters. Prayers are flowing for you and your family.

Love and Blessings,
Robin

dhm78 said...

Crying and praying, Robbie. I'm so sorry for your pain.
hollym.

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