I Wonder....

We have been quite busy this past week, and I won't bore you with all of the details.

But, last night I stayed at school until almost 10:00 PM, coming home only for supper and going back. I have things nearly ready for my absence.

I'm busy watching blogs of others who are in China now, and I wonder....

I wonder how each of the boys will grieve....will they cry, scream, hit, or withdraw from us? I wonder when they will learn to trust that we are Forever Their Family. I wonder if they will bond quickly to each other. I wonder how they will interact with their sisters.

I wonder...what games we will play. I wonder what foods will be their favorites in China. I wonder how many times Zeke has ever even been out of the SWI. I wonder how he will react when we take a train, and even more when we take the train.

I wonder how we will get through security with luggage, two boys who don't understand English, one Josie-Tatum, and one Ellie.

I wonder what their laughter will sound like.

I wonder how the girls will react when they have to give up Mommy time to the brothers they have eagerly awaited, but who are really strangers to them.

But, last night, I wondered something new.

We are blessed this weekend to have all of our children home. Tonight at supper, the seven of us sat eating, talking about seating arrangements the next time we are all together with two more.

Brandon came in yesterday. He is home from UGA for spring break. (For those who are new to our blog, Brandon joined our family when he was 16 years old.) Something he did last night made me wonder. Something subtle. But, a simple act that spoke more than words alone can speak.

I was getting ready to go to bed. I had kissed Stan goodnight and walked across the great room. As I approached the love seat where Brandon was,

he sat up.

I didn't tell him, but, at that moment, I was moved.

Do you know why he sat up?

He sat up because he knew his kiss was coming next.

And, it made me wonder.

I wonder when Drew and Zeke will one day sit up, because they will know they are next. How long will it be before they come to anticipate the love and affection that a forever family has to offer?

So, last night, I was looking forward. Not to Gotcha Days, on March 19th and 21st. Not to adoption days on March 20th and 22nd. Not to our homecoming on March 31st.

No, I was looking further into the future.

I was thinking of a moment in time when I will walk across the room...and my boys will sit up, whether they are 7 years-old, or one week from turning 21, like Brandon.
I dream of the moment when they will know that a mama has loved the forever.